The Almighty Formula

Once, as a very new homeschooler, I attended a homeschool support group meeting and asked “a question” about math books. O boy, was I in for a shock.

I had about a dozen veteran homeschooling mothers- lovely, kind, generous moms whom I absolutely adore- jump down my throat and give me 12 different answers to my question. And after the meeting, several more gave me their “solutions”. “Do it *this way* and life will be great.”

Now none of those moms meant to overwhelm me. Or tell me what to do. But they were making what I consider to be THE fundamental mistake of homeschooling.

Calling on the Almighty Formula.

Everybody does it. Summer is the worst- your mailbox is flooded with a million (ok, maybe more like a trillion) glossy catalogs claiming to have the Almighty Formula for you. Right here, direct from God, all your answers in this box. Or look! Over here you can pick and choose from a wide selection of components and create your own Almighty Formula!

But let me share with you a little metaphor. Do you know the main difference between formula feeding and breastfeeding? Well, experts get together to create formula. They determine what a general human baby needs to *not die* and they try to cover all unknown factors (impossible), then they pour it in a can, slap a label on it, charge you exorbitant amounts of money for it, and you take it home. You mix it exactly the same every time and give it to your baby. But when you breastfeed your baby, what happens? Your body, and your baby’s body, communicate. Your body reads your baby and adjusts the components of your milk *every day*. And even hour to hour. Someone coughs on you, and your breasts know immediately that germ x is in the air, and automatically begins to manufacture the necessary antibodies. Human milk is alive.

Wow. What a difference. To me, a curriculum is the formula. Someone else made it. Someone else determined what “children”, in general, needed, and now they are trying to sell it to me. Not that curricula are all bad.

After all, there are cases where formula saves the lives of babies whose moms have died, or are physiologically unable to make milk, or choose for personal reasons not to nurse their babies. Thank God for modern technology, and I mean that. Feeding my kids a curriculum won’t kill them. Some children and their parents enjoy curricula, and if it works for that family, great! BUT-

But. But I trade a living relationship for a static one. (And please note I refer here to the actual milk, not the parenting aspect of my previous metaphor!) I trade the thrill of exploration and reciprocation for the (false) security of scope and sequence.

And if I may stretch some more metaphors- what if you read about some wonder food (on my blog probably- LOL) and it sounded awesome, just what your child needed. So you ran out and bought him a 9-month supply. But after a month you notice he has developed a terrible allergic reaction. Do you force-feed him the rest just because you paid for it and you don’t want to be wasteful? Or because you know it’s a good food, full of vitamin C, and your child is definitely vitamin C deficient, and maybe the reaction is a fluke? Or it will go away eventually?

Of course not. Er, I hope not.

When we look around at God’s creation, so much of it is self-regulating. Yet we feel the need to control. We think so much depends on us, when really it all depends on God. I would never tell another homeschooler what to do, how to do it, or how to solve her problems. But I would hope to empower her to find her own solutions. To encourage her that no expert knows her child better than she. That education happens everywhere, not just at the table, not just in books. That her child’s needs might not fit the scope and sequence charts, and that’s ok.

That’s the beauty and freedom you have, as a home educator.

“Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.”
-William Butler Yeats

(This was originally written as an article for a homeschooling website. The site decided it was too controversial to publish there. PLEASE NOTE that I do NOT intend this article as a criticism of formula-feeding mothers, or mothers who choose a preset curriculum. It is an opinion and all are free to take it with a grain of salt. Or a dozen. I am always interested in hearing your reactions to what I've written.)

"You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time."
-Abe Lincoln or Mark Twain- who knows!

Home is where the

mess is.

Sigh. This morning I made a mistake.

My house isn't a pit, but it's not as shiny as usual. My kitchen is littered with breakfast detritus and I'm a bit too tired to deal with it at the moment. I stayed up till 3 am last night snuggling, talking, and watching movies with my husband. I somehow managed to get up at 7 am with my eldest offspring and chat with him over breakfast.

Now I hear an entire box of Legos being upturned in the playroom. I also hear a very bouncy almost-5-year-old thumping around in her closet, which means 18 pieces of clothing, formerly folded into matching, seasonally appropriate outfits, are now scattered over the floor at random.

Anyway, I read a blog. Someone else's blog. A blog where a mom cooks 1-2 meals a day, nurses a toddler, and sends her older children out the door at 7:30 am to climb onto a schoolbus. Then she tidies up her house and preps a gourmet dinner. Then she goes shopping- I guess she doesn't live in a mountain-top village, either!

The blog is called "How to have complete control over your life, home, and kids."

OK, I'm paraphrasing.

And I shouldn't have read it.

We live in our home. And our living gets messy. We do art projects and wood projects and food projects. This house is a laboratory, not a museum.

One of the moms who originally inspired me to homeschool sighed to me, several years ago, "If my kids were out of the house 8 hours a day it sure would be easier to clean. Of course, it wouldn't need so much cleaning
either!"

While I happen to be a neat-freak and clutter-hater, and I really enjoy organizing and streamlining anything from pantries to morning routines, I really bristle at the 'how-to-get-it-all-together' genre of modern self-help literature. From blogs to books to systems-in-a-box. Everybody has the answer.

I've got kids and a home. I'm blessed. And no matter how I organize it out, I spend a goodly chunk of my day picking up, washing things, and fixing things. There's just no way around it-

Life as a homemaker and homeschooling mother involves work.

Lots of it.

And I can get resentful about it sometimes. But it's a choice. I'm happier and my family is happier when I just accept the work. And think of it as a gift.

The mess means we're learning; the dishes mean we're eating well; the legos (and crayons and wood scraps and paint stains and rearranged furniture and overturned storage boxes and pattern blocks in the bathtub) mean creativity is flowing through my house.

So, O Boohoo, I've got to pick it all up at the end of the day- poor me! More like: Wow- what a great day! I can't wait for it to all happen again tomorrow!

I've got to do the work anyway, so why not make the mental effort to love it?

(And yes, my kids have chores and help around the house! But there's always the 2-year-old, right?)

Hope you enjoyed the seasonally inappropriate nature photos!

Have a great week!


"Childhood is a short season."
~Helen Hayes

Blueberry Crumble, optional plus

Mmmmmmmmmmm- looks good, huh?

I love making up recipes that can double as a full meal. This blueberry perfection can be a snack or dessert, but with the optional plusses I can actually serve it as a meal. Quite a fun change for us from the usual.


Blueberry Crumble, optional plus

5c frozen blueberries
1c apple juice
14-1/2c lemon juice
optional: put your juice in the blender with 4 Tablespoons green powder or 2c spinach, add stevia to taste

Combine the above in your casserole.

Make your crumble:

2c whole wheat flour
2c rolled oats
2t cinnamon
2c pecans or walnuts
olive oil or coconut oil to combine, about 1/2c (you want it crumbly, but not overly oil-saturated)
optional: 1/2c ground almonds

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, or until your topping is nice and crispy.

Then, enjoy!


"It is better to stir up a question without deciding it, than to decide it without stirring it up."
~Joseph Joubert

Home is where the

SPIDERS are.

Killed a black widow inside last night.

Keep finding dead wolf spider carcasses everywhere.

Are the black widows killing them off?

Is it a conspiracy?

The elk and deer aren't moving through the canyon right now, but the spiders are moving in.... I'm not feeling like doing a unit on spider study.

No, siree, I just want 'em dead.

Apparently, Pope St. Felix is the patron saint of spiders. I can't find a patron saint for protection against spiders, though.


"Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin May
fell through the parlor floor today."
~Ogden Nash

Sick Kid Shake

I decided to knit a scarf today. Isaiah begged to be taught to knit. So, with great trepidation, I agreed to give him a lesson. We’ve tried many times before with disastrous results, but today he chose some blue yarn to make a scarf as a Christmas gift for his little brother, watched very carefully and then, flawlessly, executed 3 rows of stitches. Phew.

Then we made a big, green shake. It’s a variation I like to call Sick Kid Shake.

Sick Kid Shake
2 very ripe bananas
2c spinach or 2 heaping Tablespoons green powder
1 ounce black cherry concentrate
1 ounce elderberry syrup
3 heaping Tablespoons protein powder
3c frozen fruits
4 droppersful Echinacea tincture
Water enough to thin
Stevia to taste

Everyone drank a nice, big glass. I’ve recently discovered a new protein powder. It’s called “fermented soy powder.” Regular soy is controversial and is definitely a thyroid interruptor, so I try to avoid it. But fermented soy- tempeh, miso, soy yogurt- doesn’t cause the same problems. Of course, most fermented soy isn’t particularly delicious, so I was a little nervous about it. But this NOW Foods Fermented Soy Powder is very mild-tasting. So much so that I can stir it into a bowl of oatmeal and no one minds.

It’s nice to kill 2 birds with one stone in a shake- fruits and veggies plus protein. I haven’t used protein powder since we went dairy-free because most non-dairy protein tastes… well, bad. And most protein powders of any sort are full of junk ingredients and fillers. This NOW powder is very clean, and like I said, very delicious. It will be nice for my next pregnancy to have a ‘legal’ protein powder for my shakes; blood sugar can be very sensitive to such a big sugar rush- even if it is from fruit- during pregnancy, so adding a protein element to a pregnancy shake is helpful for me.

My kids have fevers and I have baby fever….

Hope your weekend is great!


"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home."
~Edith Sitwell

Sick kids

Kids are getting a cold.

Had to break into my immature Echinacea Tincture.

Have used up a LOT of that double-strength Elderberry Syrup JP and I made.

Got an order in the mail today of 8 pairs wool socks (made in the USA, even!), 3 hats, and 3 pairs waterproof gloves.

Everything fits- phew.

I took a stroll tonight; it was 30 degrees. I was almost warm after trotting 2 miles.

Shaping up to be a great five months of winter.


"Brew me a cup for a winter's night.
For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I'll toast our bright eyes,
my sweetheart fair."
~Minna Thomas Antrim

A Christmas Story

So we're talking about stories that enrich our children's experience of the holidays. When we read one of our books, we're often inspired to do. Not that I plan out a schedule of 'activities to accompany stories read.' Hardly. But I know every year when we read the 'Legend of the Birds' from Hark! A Christmas Sampler, I'd better have peanut butter and millet on hand so we can make bird feeders right then! Nothing spoils a special "let's do it" moment like a trip to the store.

Of course, we might be inspired to do something simple, like trace a favorite picture from a book to make a Christmas card, or 'sweep the house from top to bottom' (mum sure likes that one, Strega Nona !)

Lots of our favorite stories, like Jingle the Christmas Clown inspire cooking! Unfortunately, many- ok maybe ALL- holiday treats are, simply put, bad. for. you.

What's a mum to do in a dairy-free, sugar-free house?

But you know breadwithHoney, and what we do here! Jingle's star cookies? Yup, we've hacked them! Seriously- can you make sugar cookies without... sugar?

Absolutely! And ginger bread cookies, and pumpkin pie, and cinnamon coffee cake. I'll be pulling out the big guns this month, sharing all my sweet secrets....

Food and stories; stories and food. Christmas, and my personal Heaven, in a (raw-honey-saturated) nutshell.


"Mankind is a great, an immense family. This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas."
~Pope John XXIII

Christmas is Coming...

The goose is getting fat!
Please put a penny in the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny
Then a ha'penny will do-
If you haven't got a ha'penny
Then God bless YOU!

In our consumer-driven, sugar-saturated culture, it can be difficult to develop one's own healthy, spiritually meaninglful holiday traditions.

I've been waxing long on nutrition and food- man, that series of 11 posts was a lot! It burned me out a bit. What do you do to celebrate the Holiday of holidays when you choose not to resort to gingerbread houses, a bottomless candy dish, piles of presents, and all the other typical Christmas trappings?

Well, at our house, we don't decorate for Christmas till Christmas Eve.
We mark the passing of December, Advent, with stories. The stories start with a big, red book on the purple-clad buffet in the dining room. (Purple is the traditional color for penance and waiting.) An Advent wreath sits on the dining room table. And on the first night, we begin.

Every night we hear a story from The Jesse Tree and each child makes a tree decoration with a picture of the story. For years I've been working on a fancy-shmancy embroidered set of Jesse Tree decorations, but this year I officially give up. I don't think it would mean as much to take turns hanging up a pretty bauble mommy made- they take so much pride in creating their own tagboard picture, tying on a ribbon, and hanging their story on the tree. And there's no fighting over who's turn it is to hang up the decoration!

In addition to reading through the history of the Poeple of God from Adam and Eve, to Noah, to Abraham, to Jesus, we revisit all our favorite Advent and Christmas stories. For 28 days, we will read and bake; play and plan. We usually start with Merry Christmas, Strega Nona becasue of the emphasis on preparation and waiting. Then come all our favorite St. Francis books- Merry Christmas, Strega Nona being our favorite! We talk about how different Christmas would have been without St. Francis' gift- the nativity scene.

The stories build to Christmas Eve, when, before Mass, we listen to the story of Christmas from the Word Itself (the Bible), and we place our Baby in His waiting manger. (Our nativity is great- Mary can hold the Baby, so He's usually there- "Where He belongs, Mommy!" the children say.)

Can tales and really mean as much to children as Christmas wishlists, 'Toy Boy' (remember him?), and cookies for Santa? I certainly think so! After all, what is Christmas but the beginning of the greatest Tale ever told? And even in a family that celebrates a more mainstream presents- cookies- Santa Christmas, making the telling of stories of the real meaning of Christmas part of your family traditions adds a layer of richness to the experience of the season.

Here are a few more of our must-read, Christmas-wouldn't-be-the-same-without-it story books:

The Real Santa Claus: Legends of Saint Nicholas

Hark! A Christmas Sampler

An Early American Christmas

The Night of Las Posadas
(This year we will actually get to go to the "Posadas" in this book, in Santa Fe, New Mexico- we are very excited!)

Baboushka and the Three Kings

Do you have any special books that mean "Christmas" to your family?


"Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
~Peg Bracken

Once Upon a (Christmas) Time...

Do you remember the stories you loved as a child? If you close your eyes, maybe you can see the text, or your favorite pictures on the page. Maybe you can still recite "Peter Rabbit" from memory?

"The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression, and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cast out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived."
~Howard Pyle

Now Christmas is, itself, a story within a story. (And, of course, this is true of whichever winter holiday you celebrate.) Whether you celebrate a secular or a religious Christmas, stories go before, behind, and utterly envelop the day, the traditions, and the decorations.

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."
~Dr Seuss

How lucky the child who is given the gift of Christmas stories! Stories of mother and father's Christmases past, of why-we-do-this, and why-we-eat-that.

When my first child was born, I thought about the traditions and the memories I wanted to make a part of his "Christmases past."

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."
~Bob Hope

I noticed that lots of the traditions I saw in families around me weren't all necessarily conducive to peace and joy... but many seemed conducive to temper-tantrums and the production of good "future consumers."

"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree." ~Roy L. Smith

My husband and I wanted something different for our children. We wanted to infuse our family with traditions that would keep the wonder in their eyes and the joy in their hearts. We wanted a credit-card-free kind of celebration. And that's when we started telling stories.

Tomorrow I'd like to share our familiy's favorite stories with you. Do come back and "see us."

"You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.
~Strickland Gillilan

Baby Step #10: To Supplement or Not To Supplement: That is the Question

Everyone has an opinion. Of course, the ideal is to get all the vitamins and minerals one needs from one’s food, every day.

But the argument is that our food isn’t as nutrient-dense as it was even a hundred years ago. Our produce and grains are grown in depleted soil; our animals are full of synthetic hormones and antibiotics and who-knows-what-else. No one really knows if, even on a 100% organic diet, it is even possible to get the necessary nutrients for good health from food alone.

Then again, just like pharmaceuticals, vitamins are Big Business. Someone stands to gain by convincing you that popping pills (‘natural’ pills, this time…) is the solution to a poor modern food supply.

So- to supplement or not to supplement, that is the question.

Do you have plenty of energy for the things you want to do? Do you sleep well and feel fine once you drag yourself out of bed? Do you bounce back quickly from a bad day? Do you rarely experience cravings for junk food, candy, or coffee? Do you eat a wide variety of foods in as close to their natural state as possible? Do you get sick once a year or less and recover easily? Do your bowels move easily and regularly?

If you said yes to all of the above, then you may not need supplements. The main reason people supplement, and stick with it, is that they feel better with the supplements, and worse when they stop taking them. I, personally, will not go without my high-potency multi-vitamin. I have a (medically confirmed) chronic zinc deficiency, and I could never eat enough green peas to provide the zinc my body needs. So I have no qualms taking it in pill form. If you are against vitamins, and you feel good, that’s wonderful. I hope you are extremely careful to eat a balanced diet high in fruits and vegetables, and that you studiously avoid foods that rob your body of vitamins and minerals- caffeine, white sugar, and white flour.

If you answered ‘no’ to several of those questions and suspect that you could be helped by supplements, I suggest that you gather lots of information before buying a single bottle of anything. My most trusted source for supplement facts, what to take, and safe ceilings (maximum amounts) for all different vitamins and minerals, is Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition 4th Editionby Marilyn Shannon. The newest edition also contains safety data on many herbs and other ‘natural’ supplements. It is also the best source for safe supplementation during pregnancy and lactation.

Other resources I have used in designing my own safe, energy and health-promoting supplement regime are:

Rosemary Gladstar's Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health, this book is especially useful for people who are against all synthetic vitamins and want to enhance their health or overcome health issues using only nutrition and herbs. Rosemary Gladstar, depite being one of the most famous herbalists of our time, is very balanced in her approach, never an extremist, and has a lot to say about combining natural and allopathic (mainstream medical) therapies. And her teas and other recipes will give you whole-foods, all-natural solutions at a FRACTION of the price of the “alive” vitamins and supplements on the shelves at the health food store!

Another source I use is Let's Have Healthy Children -please note that a portion of the information in this book is quite out of date. However, there are so many useful suggestions in this book for pregnancy and more, that I hate not to mention it. ****************Just be sure, as with any self-help book, that you cross-reference any nutritional, herbal, or other type of treatment in at least 3 published (i.e. NOT internet-only) sources. (This is, in fact, the herbalist’s rule of thumb- never use a remedy with finding it in at least 3 trustworthy places!)******************

Marilyn Shannon does suggest that supplementing the adult(s) in a household is far more important than supplementing children, provided the children’s diet is high-quality whole foods. I agree. It is very hard to find an all-natural, sugar-free, iron-free vitamin for kids. And if sugar and white flour are mostly avoided, children’s systems tend to absorb nutrition from their food far better than adults’ systems do.

One more note: regular grocery stores and drug stores are no place to buy supplements. The iron in drug-store variety vitamins, and ESPECIALLY in prescription pre-natals, is particularly damaging to the body’s intestinal flora. Most drug store-type vitamins are difficult or impossible to digest. One chiropractor I know suggests that people who feel they can’t afford good-quality health food store vitamins should buy an iron-free multi-vitamin and ***chew the tablets.*** This, at least, helps with their digestion. It’s really gross, though.


"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."
~J.R.R. Tolkien, "Three Is Company," The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, 1954