Grace

When I look at my own blog, I think, "Wow- I'd like to live there!" It looks like a place where days move from one peaceful scene to the next....

The moments that matter, distilled. A series of the sweetest memories I will ever accumulate.

But.

At the moment, my toddler has drifted off to sleep in my arms, still occasionally sucking, swallowing... the finest nourishment there is.

But.

It's a sharp contrast to last night when this child did. not. sleep. I myself am going on 4 hours in the last 24. Is he sick? No. Is he teething? No.

He just never has been a dependable sleeper.

Sometimes I'm tempted to jealousy of mothers whose youngest little person, you know, sleeps. My Rose and my Johnny just never have allowed me a dependable night's sleep.

I used to hate it- up till 3 am with a wailing, hurting baby I could not comfort. Or up from 3 am to 6 am, only to drag myself out of bed with Isaiah at a fuzzy 7:30.

But in the last year, I've finally gotten it.

Grace.

My children have big needs which respect no clock. Caring for them from my heart constantly reminds me that when I sacrifice my own wants, even my own needs from time to time, I am merely acknowledging a reality so easy to ignore in a well-ordered life:

I am not in control.

I plan; I scheme; I design. But I have to let God in. To me, it seems sensible and right to go to bed at 10 pm and rise at 6:30. It's what I want.

It rarely happens. I constantly encourage other mothers to stop shortchanging themselves through lack of sleep. I have to practice what I preach. The price of a rested mother is less productivity some days, and a need for steady commitment to simplicity and a schedule that isn't as full as it could be.

Yet what a secret grace, the midnight hours whiled away rocking, singing, and walking, walking, WALKING. Relishing the feeling of a 27 lb baby suddenly, finally, melting into a deep, limp sleep against my chest. Lying awake, nursing and staring at the ceiling in the dark, praying. For this baby, for his future. Some nights too tired to pray in words, but just feeling the night and the closeness of a little person who will grow, too fast, just like the ones before him. The night time tryst is a grace,

A good friend of ours, a priest, quoted a theologian whose name escapes me, during my second pregnancy:
"The midnight cry of the child is to the mother what the midnight bells are to the cloistered nun."

A call to prayer, to service in the Lord.

The days I'm up before 7 am are pure gifts, since they are often rare. I feel an amazing sense of gratitude for the quiet time with God in the morning hours. And on the common day when I am not up before the sun, I try, I do try, to be with God more intensely in the moments I can carve out of the day.

Smooth mornings, noons, and nights are a grace. Rocky, rough, chaotic mornings, noons, and nights are a grace, too.

If only I have eyes to see it.

"Amidst chaos lies opportunity."
-Albert Einstein

I've been inspired by Small Steps Together over at:
http://www.elizabethfoss.com/reallearning/2011/05/by-the-grace-of-god.html

Food for Thought Friday

Mary Hood, on homeschooling:
"When parents relinquish control to "experts,"

they defeat their original purpose, and might as well return to the institutional setting.

When they relinquish control to their children, the result is usually chaos.

"As a homeschooling parent, you begin to gain control when you start the process of thinking through your own beliefs about education carefully.

To do this, you need to remember your own experiences with learning, both inside and outside of school.

You must analyze the reasons why some learning experiences have remained with you, while others were quickly forgotten....

Thinking through these issues will give you a head start towards developing your "educational philosophy," which is an important step (for) your family.

"Have you ever stopped to consider how "real learning" takes place?

Do you think that it occurs as the result of a teacher... lecturing?

If a student "learns" something... but forgets it two weeks later, do you honestly believe any true learning has taken place?"

From The Relaxed Homeschooler, by Mary Hood

Peanut Butter Balls and a Walk in the Park

Today has been dreary. Yesterday was dreary. I never regret spending the day out of doors as we did earlier in the week, before the fickle Kansas weather changed again.

We have plenty of days when we are alone, the four of us, sunrise to sunset. It can make for a tired mother. I try to make daddy-less days special. Anyone who knows our family knows I will never. ever. be as fun, loving, giving, or wild as my dear husband.

So instead I just try to make really good food. To the heart, by way of the stomach.

These peanut butter balls, with the addition of some freash oranges and our endless veggie tray, make a fun, filling lunch. They are a bit extravagant, since they use an entire pound jar of nut butter and we eat them all. Yes, all. In one sitting. But we needed the energy! We had a trip to Riverside Park all planned out.

We like something crunchy in dairy-free pb balls, so we started with a few brown rice cakes crumbled up.

Dumped in a jar of crunchy natural peanut butter.

Added 3T of raw wheat germ

2T each of ground flax and hempseeds,

a bit of raw honey,

and mix.

We formed balls and rolled them in more wheat germ because they were very sticky. Our pb was runny and we didn't add much honey. More honey makes them less sticky, as does milk powder, if you do dairy.

Then we stuck them in the freezer to firm up a bit more.

And we ate them.

Very theatrically.

We packed up our backpacks and headed to the park. There was just no excuse for bending over books on a day like today.

Always important:

So amazing.

Sycamore "fruit".

Poison sumac- Isaiah's favorite.

A weed we wanted to identify but couldn't.

So many wildflowers blooming right now.

My favorite, the wild purple poppy mallow.

Heron sighting!

We scared her.

We scared them, too.

A bit sad to see this old tree uprooted and fallen over in the river.

Birch trees looking glorious.

Cottonwood everywhere, causing this mothers sinuses to swell. Seriously. A lot.

We rested under an oak where we got covered in aphids. Snacked on GORP; that pound plus of pb balls must have been ages ago!

Nature journaling the purple poppy mallow.
Rosie:

Isaiah:

Me, showing them the shapes making up the flower:

John Paul, past ready to go home:

More trees that we loved:

"To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment."
-Jane Austen

Recipe Previews

Here are some upcoming recipes:

Dairy-free peanut butter balls
Chicken scones
Granola bites
Chocolate peanut butter banana (green) smoothie
Gee, Ghee
Pasta e fagiole
Almond energy bars
Maple-walnut fudge brownies
High-protein "ranch" dip
Dairy-free white sauce
World's best tuna burgers
Super (green) salsa
Instant water (You just add- oh, wait. Never mind....)

And book reviews:
Keeping a Nature Journal
The Relaxed Homeschooler
Homeschooling with Gentleness
Natural Structure
Holiness for Housewives
Camel Caravan (a beautiful living book about Mali, Africa)
The Wonderful World Within You (really awful name for a really interesting, informative nutrition book)

So stay tuned, dear reader!

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
-J. R. R. Tolkien

Bedtime Bread

(Blogger was going nuts over the weekend and published this post before it was complete- sorry about that!)

is an Irish-style raisin bread,

also known as "lembas" during any given Lord of the Rings kick,

and the official bedtime snack over here at BreadwithHoney.

Here is the recipe which we have been developing for quite a while now:

2c whole wheat pastry flour (or regular whole wheat flour, but reduce by 2T)
1c rolled oats
1/2t salt
1t cream of tartar
1 1/2t baking soda
1/3- 1/2c organic raisins
optional, 1/4c walnuts
1c milk of your choice, or water, with a sqeeze of lemon juice added (or use buttermilk)
2T oil, coconut oil, ghee, or softened butter

Stir dry ingredients together. Whisk wet ingredients and add to dry. Combine with as few strokes as possible. Your dough should hold together, but it will be wet. Dump onto a greased, floured cookie sheet.

Pat into a round cake, about 2" thick, and score into 1/4's with a sharp knife.

Bake at 325* for approx. 30- 40 minutes, or till bread sounds hollow when thumped on the bottom.

Transfer onto rack to cool. Serve drizzled with honey. (Drizzled. In my photo, the bread is *slathered*. Isaiah feels this is dishonest and unfair. We had a talk about aesthetics, which didn't quite convince him...)

We love this bread with a cup of red rooibos tea, a.k.a. a bedtime multi-vitamin in a cup. Red rooibos contains significant and bioavailable amounts of anti-oxidants, Vitamin C, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc, Sodium, Copper, and Manganese. It got me to finally give up coffee; it is a very satisfying tea.
Happy bedtime plates:

A baby kept happy while mom bakes:

And the longest worm we've ever seen. Wow, kids that's great! Take him back to the garden now, ok?

"An Observant Child should be put in the way of Things worth Observing."
-Charlotte Mason